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Aaron Forsythe FACTS

1. Aaron Forsythe’s Bloodghasts block.

2. When Aaron Forsythe windmill-slams a card, people throughout the Netherlands rush outside to check the condition of their windmills.

3. Aaron Forsythe breaks formats. Psychologically.

4. Aaron Forsythe never misses a land drop. Ever. Someone said that they saw Aaron Forsythe miss a land drop once. That person is now missing.

5. Emrakul, the Aeons Torn is Aaron Forsythe’s pet. He calls it “Emma.”

6. Aaron Forsythe doesn’t go on tilt. Aaron Forsythe stands stoically while the world tilts where he tells it to.

7. Aaron Forsythe always has the right counterspell in the current Standard environment. He doesn’t see what all the fuss is about.

8. Abyssal Persecutor originally said “You can’t lose the game and your opponents can’t lose the game” until Aaron Forsythe told him, “You can’t win.” Abyssal Persecutor listened.

9. Aaron Forsythe has razor-sharp, darksteel teeth.

10. If you say anything disparaging about upcoming Magic releases, especially on Twitter, Aaron Forsythe will make you eat your words. He will actually come to your house, with a print out of what you said, and force you to eat the paper. He will not leave until you eat every bite.

Update from Aaron himself (Magic Weekend Philly 9/3/2011):
11. Aaron Forsythe cannot be defeated in Modern.

(Please note that this is all in good fun, and not meant in any way to be a diss on Aaron Forsythe. Actually, the opposite is true. I have been endlessly amused by the way he has just been DESTROYING the naysayers on Twitter lately, and was inspired to write this. Feel free to add any additional “Aaron Forsythe FACTS” in the comments section of this post.)


P.S. Don’t forget to download Episode 19 of Yo! MTG Taps!

Categories: Musings
  1. Seth Burn
    April 21, 2010 at 11:14 pm

    The Pittsburgh Penguins are 1 game away from a Titanic clash against the Washington Capitals. Aaron Forsythe wills it be so.

  2. April 21, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    Whenever his opponent cracks a fetchland, Aaron Forsythe has the four Archive Traps. He was once asked by a judge to explain this phenomenon. He replied, “I’m Aaron Forsythe.”

    Inside R&D, Shroud is templated as “This creature can’t be the target of spells or abilities, except those controlled by Aaron Forsythe.”

    Maralen of the Mornsong’s multiverse name was “Topdeck like a Forsythe”.

    Day of Judgment brought pleasure to Aaron Forsythe.

  3. April 21, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    Aaron Forsythe does not tap when attacking. However, he does not have vigilance.

  4. RidiculousHat
    April 21, 2010 at 11:34 pm

    Aaron Forsythe has a hat more ridiculous than mine.

  5. April 21, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    Aaron Forsythe mulligans to 0, and still wins the game.

  6. April 21, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    Aaron Forsythe was once asked how he keeps the R&D team motivated. His reply is now Forked Bolt’s flavour text.

    Greg Staples needed a model for Hellcarver Demon, but rejected Aaron as “too muscular.”

    “Invincible is just a word.”—Gideon Jura. He’s obviously never met Aaron Forsythe.

    Aaron Forsythe’s Scute Mobs /always/ reach his next upkeep.

    “The mighty rely solely on their strength.” I rely on Aaron Forsythe.

    Aaron Forsythe may look at the top card of your library. (He may do this at any time.)

  7. Zak
    April 21, 2010 at 11:57 pm

    When developing alara block, there was a card that read as follows:

    2RG Creature
    When you cast ~, ~ deals 3 damage to target player and discards 2 cards.

    Aaron Forsythe loved the card and played it in all his decks. Then one day, the rest of R&D decided to play a trick on Aaron: they made it into two cards.

    To this day, Aaron has not noticed the difference.

  8. cikesef
    April 22, 2010 at 12:03 am

    R&D once tried to design a planeswalker card based on Aaron Forsythe. It could not be printed because the playtest cards always burst into flames from sheer amazingness.

  9. starwarer
    April 22, 2010 at 12:12 am

    Ha! So what you’re saying is that Aaron Forsythe is the Chuck Norris of MtG?

  10. Corrin
    April 22, 2010 at 10:42 am

    “Aaron Forsythe mulligans to 0, and still wins the game.” <- replace with "Aaron Forsythe mulligans to 8".

  11. CodeRed77
    May 12, 2010 at 10:14 am

    One day Aaron Forsythe and Emrakaul were on a picnic with Ulamog, and Kozilek. Before they ate his delicious picnickings, they were all known as grizzly bears.

  12. June 24, 2010 at 6:03 am

    If you complain to Aaron about any of WotC’s decisions, he will deal 7 damage to you, force you to discard seven cards, then make you sacrifice seven permanents.

  13. Jashin
    January 27, 2011 at 11:44 am

    Aaron Forsythe’s Vanguard Avatar says: “You may begin the game with a Barren Glory on the battlefield.” When his opponent has no Nature’s Claim in Hand he ALWAYS topdecks Lotus Petal and One with Nothing. (…at once…)

  14. September 9, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Aaron Forsythe doesn’t ban cards, he stares at them until they ban themselves.

  1. July 16, 2010 at 5:27 pm
  2. January 26, 2011 at 4:28 pm
  3. September 9, 2011 at 12:07 am

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